trees lose all inhibition
their arms reach up
in shamanistic contortions
sweeping the air weeping the air
beseeching to the right and the left
up and down
all is bare
and silent reproach
This is how I’ll remember it:
An argument on the interstate
and coffee in Tucson.
Somebody came over to our table
and said, “See that guy, he’s very smart — but he’s given to drink.”
Thinking about luxuries
driving through the suburban landscape
saying to myself:
“The suburbs aren’t so bad — not bad at all.
I’m sick of the dinge and the fringe —
So, this is what there is.”
And my wild, fragile youth ***********************passed away
When the day came into view today
I mean I felt its soft warmth
I felt the world relent
or that’s how it felt.
I remembered that I was once young and happy.
Of course then I didn’t know I was young
because I didn’t know what old was.
And I didn’t know I was happy because
I didn’t know what the world was.
Now I just remember and call it happy.
I’m not happy, I can’t be happy anymore but
I can remember being happy.
집. You moved us six times and then twice more after I left home. This was something remarkable among your friends. And to the end you were always ready to entertain the idea of another move. At different times you wanted to run away I know, but where would you run to and what would you do once you got there? You lacked confidence in that life; you said “I pity your father” without much pity. And so that dream faded without much bitterness or so I thought. It was a dream of being alone. But what would you do once you got there? House became life.
When she died she unzipped the air and disappeared into a hole in time. The air was zipped back up and no one was the wiser.
They sequestered her in a room far away where I can never go and from which she can never come back. I hear her voice on the phone, languid, bored, forlorn. She’s there but I can never go see her and she can never come back.
Dad howled and stumbled after her walking into the street, stood in the middle of the street, looked after her.
"Cardiac slaves of the stars,
We conquered the whole world before getting out of bed,
But we woke up and it's hazy,
We got up and it's alien,
We went outside and it's the entire earth
Plus the solar system and the Milky Way and the Indefinite."
("Tobacco Shop" Álvaro de Campos)